Finding my Blackness in my wings.

Do you know who you are?

I can only recall once when I was asked this question. It was my high school graduation, and I was finally saying goodbye to so much racial trauma I endured. The cool air that day rejuvenated my heart and soul, as my new journey towards the Illustrious Clark Atlanta was rising within the horizons. Though my days of high school are far behind me, the hell I experienced lead me to where I am today and what dreams I hope to accomplish. For such to appear, I had to to withstand classmates mocking my articulation of words, while they expressed how I didn't talk or act like a Black person, or constantly touching and pulling the thickness of my hair because of their odd curiosity. Back than I was to timid to stand up for myself, and too scared to tell my mom. As I matured, I had courage to proclaim what was happening, but no one of importance would listen (principals and administration). My K-12 education, shouted at me in Bold letters, that I'm a nigga and I will forever be Black. I knew my Blackness came from the strongest, most resilient, and brave individuals, yet hearing only the negatives of my people in the halls and the classroom deteriorated my mind, being, and soul.

No child should experience the atrocities of racism in any aspect, but what I sustained drove me to want to truly change this bittersweet world. So many of the ancestors shared my want for Blackness to be accepted and loved among the world. Their sacrifices and our united goal for such change gave me a drive to keep going and I don't plan on stopping. My hopes are even more clear after completing my freshman year at Clark. Learning the historical background of how the world functions, and why my Blackness will for another life time be hated by society and a government not fit for me. Knowledge as the world knows is power and the key to liberation as the great late activist, Paulo Freire proclaimed. Seeking higher education especially at a Historically Black University, where the curriculum and setting is rooted in Blackness and devised for me to succeed, bestowed me a chance at unlocking my culture and accepting myself in its entirety. Majoring in English while trying to minor in history is such a beautiful chain of events in my story of life. I know now my Black is intelligent, strong, beautiful, and nourishing. I am Paige Malena Hawkins, and though it took most of my lifetime to figure it out, I am glorious because of those who came before me and will forever proclaim their lives and journeys while sharing my truth.

Sincerely,

Your Beloved Paige