The Past Paige

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In the darkest phase of my adolescences, I allowed others hatred for my existence to control my emotions and actions. I felt no one heard my cry for help, so I stayed silent and only allowed my journals to see my hurt. Now, I'd like to share my coping with you, welcome to The Past Paige.

Instead of speaking my truth

I hold my breath

Outside voices from everyday people proclaimed each voice has power

But in secret their children would whisper in a cold breath "it doesn't"

I believed them

So I held my breath

As I grew I spoke less and less to the point my mother thought I was mute

As I grew I wondered would my voice disappear into few

As I grew not having a voice, my self esteem and confidence withdrew

In the presence of all, it was as if I was a child again, small, fearful, and walked all over

But than I think, did I ever grow?

I begin to put on a mask, radiating happiness in order to make others happy.

Still, even with the mask

I hold my breath